Whom Shall I Send

orginally written when serving Northwest Community UU Church published in the Houston Chronicle 11/27/09. 

Last week, we heard news that a teen from Langham Creek High School was allegedly chased down by other teens, beaten with a pipe and told, “You are going to quit being gay.” The boy says that he had been tipped off that the attack was going to happen, and that he approached the Vice Principal and the bus driver seeking protection. Parents are questioning the level of safety being provided to their teens. Rumors and accusations of previous conflict and offensive behavior began to emerge. Was it a hate crime? We know this–the assault was tragic, and is part of a larger pattern of violence against gay people. Incidents of violence assault the safety and security of all teens, especially any may be perceived as gay.

Unitarian Universalist congregations covenant to affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person. Many of us have been working to see that the same basic civil rights become guaranteed to everyone. I have contacted the mother of the boy who was beaten and offered the support of our congregation. I am grateful to any who have offered their support to this grieving family. I see this support as living out the injunction to love your neighbor as yourself.

Accusations, rumors, and moralistic judgments are common after such incidents of violence. It becomes difficult to find a path to peace and harmony. Although it’s easy to point fingers, liberal faith challenges us to remember the humanity of all concerned. When despair, anger or resentment are present in us, we can pray for the power to be able to work through differences peaceably. Deep listening and respectful dialogue can open up possibilities for greater understanding and cooperation. These can lead to better conditions for all. Who will heed the divine call to be peacemakers?

We have no magic wands, but we have faith and willingness. On Sunday, November 29, at 6:30 pm, Northwest Community Unitarian Universalist Church will have a short religious service, a prayer and peace vigil. Afterwards there will be a teen and an adult dialog for peace, healing and safety. We hope you can join us as we pray for the will to create safe community for all our teens.

Ministry in Mental Health Alternatives Advocacy

Human Rights leader David Oaks, once called me "Minister to the Mad Movement." His words were an overly generous explanation of my 28 years of community ministry participating in the Peer Support and Human Rights in Mental Health Movement.  In various roles,  I have advocated for people's access to the spirituality and faith based supports of their choosing.  Although I'm not seeking converts or new members into Unitarian Universalist congregations, I believe this ministry puts UU values and faith into action.

There is a significant and qualitative difference between the worldview and practices of this movement, and that of the dominant paradigm of our mental health industry.  Industry treatment often begins with the giving of a label from the Diagnostic Statistic Manual.  From that moment on treatment focuses on what is allegedly "wrong" with them. Our human rights movement has a very different focus.  #1 We address the larger context of social injustice (oppression, inter-generational trauma) that impacts people who have received a psychiatric diagnosis. #2 We also affirm and promote the inherent worth and power of every person.  Rather than an individual focus: we seek to create conditions where people gain the supports of their choosing in order to achieve the repair, recovery and wellness they seek. 

Almost 50 years after the start of this movement, it consists largely of peer support communities that promote alternatives, a great variety of paths to wellness and recovery. A core value in our movement is respect for the diversity of our worldviews; the right of each person to make sense of their life experiences in the manner that they find meaningful. (Note that this is a value shared with UU tradition).

Some of us embrace medical diagnosing language.  Some find medications helpful. Some use natural and holistic supports.  Increasingly, we language and understand our life experiences without using medical language or models.  All of us value choice, self-determination and “grass roots” rather than top down approaches.

We know the healing power of being part of communities.  We have collected a wealth of resources for helping each other through trauma and experiences of extreme mental and emotional distress.  In many cultures all shamans /healers are people who had experienced extreme states (what the West calls psychosis).  The difference is that mentors guided them through or from the "madness" (visions, voices etc).  Most of our communities have developed some capacity to mentor or companion people to be able to journey from distress to learning and the acquiring of gifts.   In one on one and group settings, acceptance and deep listening facilitates connection that heals and empowers! 

I have had the honor of being part of numerous “communities of care” in various roles; as student, as instructor, facilitator, community organizer, program director and Minister. I have learned how to teach others how to make an empathetic connection with people experiencing an extreme state of mental emotional distress.

"Angelfish and Starlings"

On February 8th thousands of people will gather in Raleigh NC to protest voter suppression and other oppressive policies recently enacted by the NC legislature. NAACP president Rev. William Barber has called Raleigh the epicenter of a new assault on voting rights. The NAACP has called citizens to join "the largest moral rally in the South since Selma." The plea has been echoed by our UUA President Peter Morales and the UUA's "Standing on the Side of Love" campaign. Rev. Vanessa Southern, senior minister at the Summit UU congregation has helped organized a NJ contingent.

This event reminds me of UU delegations to Arizona and protests that galvanized the immigration reform movement. It also reminds me of our unmistakable presence in campaigns for the the human rights for lgbt persons during the past two decades. How is it that UUs manage to be in a place of prominence in many of the greatest liberal societal changes?

UU engagement in essential social justice struggles grows from our theology and our religious traditions. If you connect the dots between the movement to end the New Jim Crow, immigration reform and lgbt human rights, you will see us continuing Jesus' prophetic ministry, standing on the side of love and justice, advocating on behalf of the most discriminated and oppressed peoples. Our religious message is a call to build the beloved community. We proclaim the sacred within every person, and we seek to develop a consciousness of "world community."


Religion aims to shift perspective from the isolated individual toward an awareness of relationship to something much greater. The language and understanding of that "something greater" differs in each tradition or culture. One of the central ways that we promote our spirituality is through prophetic witness that calls for a world community with liberty and justice for all.


Everywhere, people cry out for justice. Our UU faith proclaims the power that is created when people unite in service of humanity. We seek to harness that power!
Speaking on the subject of numerous UULMN victories, Rev. Craig Hershberg, said: "We gives the appearance of a much larger body. Every time a call goes out (from UULMN) our members write letters, make phone calls and organize lobbying sessions." Unlike the common complaint that organizing UUs is like herding cats, our ability to rise up together for social justice seems to me more aptly compared to a school of angelfish or a flock of starlings. We move as one!

It's hard to describe what happens to UUs when they begin participating on the state, district national or global levels. I imagine it has something to do with gaining deep understanding that we are part of a beautiful and unmistakable force for liberation, spirituality and human dignity.

It will be an honor to represent LUUF n Raleigh. If you want to be part of that historic march, but plan to stay here in NJ, look on the SOSL website for ways to make your support felt.
Yours on the Sacred Journey-

For You, UU

Let Us Be Counted!," the UUs for Jewish Awareness conference in Atlanta continues to stir in me, causing me to reflect on our living UU tradition. The conference was distinctly UU and distinctly Jewish!

Apparently, the fact that there are UUs who also identify as Jewish boggles people's minds. Even among UUs there seems to be a lot of anxiety about people with multiple, mixed or fluid identities suggested keynote presenter Dr Ibrahim Farajaje of Starr King School for the Ministry (SKSM). Farajaje' stated that the “mixities” and cross cultural influences between Unitarians and Jews date back to the16th century in Europe.

Dr. Farajaje' also reported that cultural competency has improved at SKSM as a result of multiculturalism among the student population. His keynote suggests to me that my alma mater has retained much of the philosophy that guided the institution during the 80's. SKSM wanted to prepare ministers to lead UU congregations to embrace every person as a potential source of divine revelation, as someone who could make profound contributions to the spiritual growth of the community. SKSM delivered this lesson in the way things were done. At SKSM, students taught seminary classes, and served on the board of trustees. The school helped make it possible for students to contribute to the community and to each other's preparation for ministry.

Farajaje told of lessons that arose as a result of having 3 Jewish identified UU seminarians in the same graduating class. For several years SKSM graduation had taken place on a Friday night. In discussions at SKSM, it came to light that the students' Jewish family members would not attend graduation if it occurred on "Shabbat." Graduation was moved to Thursday night and remains there still. This wasn't about making UU Jewish. It was about helping the seminary to stay UU, to remain consistent with UU values.

Dr. Farajaje' also shared a story of a Starr King student who led a chapel celebrating Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year. As is Jewish custom, she placed on the altar apples and honey for people to eat at the conclusion of the service. She explain the significance of the tradition; wishing each other a sweet year ahead! She also did something that made the service characteristically UU. Rosh Hashana fell during Ramadan that year. During Ramadan, Muslims fast during the day. Knowing this, the service leader set aside some apples and honey on the altar for anyone who might be observing Ramadan to take with them for their nightime meal. Ibrahim said that people were really moved by the thoughtfulness, consideration and intention to be inclusive. I feel tears well inside me as I consider the clarity of the intention to establish the beloved community.

Farajaje said “When you plan an event, consider who the event is for. Are you doing something for your little group?, or for the entire congregation?” Robin Kottman, a leader from the "L'Chaim group" at the UU Congregation of Atlanta said that this principle had been responsible for their group's success. She said that they actively resisted beified as a group for UU Jews. From the onset, their intention was to be a group for UUs for Jewish Awareness. They found that many people were eager to learn, explore or celebrate Jewish traditions in a UU context. Many benefited bcause L'Chaim planned events with the entire congregation in mind.

I pray that we will all learn from their example!

Up for Adoption, The 10 Tree Challenge

IF YOU ARE A LOVER OF TREES... this could be your opportunity to make a profound contribution to our UU religious tradition and to GAIA (Earth).

Up for adoption, is the "10 Tree Challenge," a simple project that resulted in 40+ churches (and 50-100 other orgs.) planting over 3000 trees. Beyond the tangible results, an exceptional spirit emerged across the UU world as a result of this project. UUs grasped the simple idea, and then brought it to life in a myriad of creative ways that fit their particular congregation.

UU's are still hungry for meaningful ritual. Tree Planting proves to be both a powerful symbolic ritual and a way that UUs could make a visible contribution to their communities. UUs of every ilk, young and old, intellectual, political, spiritual all embrace this project.

I initiated, encouraged and facilitated the project, and watched it take off. Then other aspects of my ministry intervened. I was serving two congregations, and offering trainings in "Compassionate Conversations" (aka nonviolent communication). I wasn't able to remain focused on the "10 Tree Challenge."

The right person could help this project spring back to life like a tree after a season of dormancy. I would be glad to advise, coach, encourage and share some ideas. Or perhaps your creativity will be what makes the difference.

IMO the success of the program was due to its ease of implementation and to the Green Sanctuary program that was initiated by the UU Ministry For Earth. When "Green Sanctuary" moved to the UUA, traffic to the UUMFE webpage and to the link for the 10 tree challenge link dwindled. Frankly, I failed to recognize that adaptation was needed. GS Program Manager, Robin Nelson even invited me to write a guest blog on her site as a way for us to begin working together. I simply never followed up. Bottom line: there is institutional support/ willingness to see this go forward. It simply needs someone with some skill and passion to gather the firewood and ignite it again. (bad metaphor for bring trees to life, huh?)

Congregations find this project fun, fulfilling and magical. It provides a relatively easy way to be part of something that UUs were doing together. The success came with only a small percent of UU's hearing about the project. There is plenty room left for this project to grow! It would take a critical mass, a small number of congregations recognized for their efforts, and the 10 Tree Challenge would spread again. trees!!!

If you want to help revitalized the 10 Tree Challenge be revitalized, please email Robin Nelson or me

All Our JUUwishness

All of us counts. All of the ways that we find to be who we are in this world, all of it counts. This was the message we received at the “Let Us Be Counted” Uus for Jewish Awareness Conference in Atlanta this weekend. It was a message that came home because of our experience of coming together.

UUJA President Rev. Leah Hart-Landsberg helped set the tone for our time together during opening worship. She referred to the “parsha” (torah portion) of the week that instructed ancient Hebrews how to build a sanctuary. “We will be building a sanctuary too,”she said. How right she was!

Personally I was gratified to see the influence that my alma mater, Thomas Starr King School for the Ministry had in the creation of this conference. Hart-Landsberg, and most of the planning team were SKSM graduates, and SKSM prof Dr. Ibrahim Farajaje' delivered the conference keynote address. (Thank you SKSM and President Rebecca Parker whose discretionary funds made that keynote possible.) Dr. Farajaje's presentation brought to the conference a precious aspect of Starr King culture. Beyond theology, I remember SK as a place that enriched its seminarians with an affirming sense of the sacredness of being. Learning how to bring this quality out in a community or congregational setting was a priceless aspect of preparation for ministry.

The quality of our gathering had many contributors. There was generous hosting of the UU Congretion of Atlanta (UUCA), Rev. Marti Keller, and the UUCA's L'Chaim group for Jewish Awareness. We enjoyed an abundance of Jewish music, the professional support of UUCA's Music director, Donald Milton III and performances by the combined choirs of UUCA and Bet Haverim. (BH is a Reconstructionist Congregation founded by lesbians and gays.)

Dr. Farajaje refered to the conference as a “Shabbaton,” a weekend retreat that focuses on a communal sharing of Shabbat. During the weekend, we shared the “mixities” of how we identify; the communities we belong to or hail from, and what continues to contributes to our journeys toward wholeness. We joined in the sharing of stories, prayers, poems, singing and music. We shared our selves, and were enriched by the sharing. It was an experience that affirmed who we are- beyond and through acquired identities. My partner from our havurah (study group), found the conference as “affirming not because there is a rule that exists among Uus that says we must accept each other, but because I experienced people here as being open, that they actually cared to find out who I am, and that they were willing to share with me something of who they are too.”

Sunday morning before the worship service, we sat and talked about what we had received. We said things like: “I know now that I am not alone.” “I thought being a UU Jew was something that I created.” “ I thought it was a figment of my imagination,” or “something that really wasn't supposed to exist, “ “Until now, I've hidden my love of being Jewishness out of fear of being perceived as cheating on my UU Church” “Many UUs seem to think that identifying as Jewish means that we're not really or fully UU. I'll never believe that again!” Each of us grew in awareness of the profound influence that Judaism, our relationship to Jewish people and cultures has had and continues to have on our living UU tradition. The ripples of our coming together, of our learning and our celebrating our JUUwishness will be felt throughout the UU world!

Who are we and Whose are we?

The flurry of posts on the UUJA e-list continues. I'm enjoying the busy-buzz-buzz of excited connecting.

It's made me think about who we are, and surprised that I haven't heard or raised this question before. Some of us identify as Jewish UUs. Some identify as UUs of Jewish Heritage (sub group- "cultural Jews".) Some are spouses or partners of Jews. Some of us are UUs with no Jewish heritage but who have an affinity for or interest in Judaism. Some of us wish to be "allies to Jews" because we have an understanding of anti-Jewish sentiment and oppression, the historical role the targeting of Jews has played in the maintaining of oppressive society. Who have I forgotten?

It's similar to the realization that there is not just one Jewish culture but many. There are Jews from most every ethnic /racial group. People who continue Jewish religious traditions come in several flavors: Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Chasidic, Renewal, Reconstructionist, There are Jews of every socioeconomic class. We run the gamut from politically right wing to left wing Some of us would never criticise Israel. Some of us are moved by conscience to advocate for Palestinian's human rights.

Is there or could there be an over arching term that encompasses all of us? There is the name of our organization, UUs for Jewish Awareness. I'm grateful, but not satisfied. My brain begins trying to create an image of Jewish, UU and ally. What would symbolize ally? ...Holland? righteous gentile award? ...time for research. Wait, the UUJA has a lovely image of the chalice and the menorah! Am I reinventing the wheel? Some questions are worth repeating! And we can't have too much art.

Now I can't ask the question "Who are we?" without thinking "Whose are we?" At our January SWUUMA annual retreat, Revs. Galaher and Lortie gave us an experience of the dynamite UU curricula "Whose Are We?" This isn't a question needing an intellectual answer. It is one that asks us to see who we are by discovering the yearnings of faith and the ties of our heart. I expect that it is what we will be doing at the upcoming "Let Us Be Counted" conference in Atlanta.

PS. Some who connect to my Jewishness, occasionally call me by my Jewish name, Fivel. Yes, by all means feel free!
Shalom Y'all.